"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
Matthew 10:29





Wednesday, April 27, 2011

There is no other stream

I just love C.S. Lewis. And Narnia.

Jill got up and looked round her very carefully. There was no sign of the lion; but there were so many trees about that it might easily be quite close without her seeing it. For all she knew, there might be several lions. But her thirst was very bad now, and she plucked up her courage to go and look for that running water. She went on tiptoes, stealing cautiously from tree to tree, and stopping to peer round her at every step.

The wood was so still that it was not difficult to decide where the sound was coming from. It grew clearer every moment and, sooner than she expected, she came to an open glade and saw the stream, bright as glass, running across the turf a stone's throw away from her. But although the sight of the water made her feel ten times thirstier than before, she didn't rush forward and drink. She stood as still as if she had been turned into stone, with her mouth wide open. And she had a very good reason; just on this side of the stream lay the lion.

It lay with its head raised and its two fore-paws out in front of it, like the lions in Trafalgar Square. She knew at once that it had seen her, for its eyes looked straight into hers for a moment and then turned away - as if it knew her quite well and didn't think much of her.

"If I run away, it'll be after me in a moment," thought Jill. "And if I go on, I shall run straight into its mouth." Anyway, she couldn't have moved if she had tried, and she couldn't take her eyes off it. How long this lasted, she could not be sure; it seemed like hours. And the thirst became so bad that she almost felt she would not mind being eaten by the lion if only she could be sure of getting a mouthful of water first.

"If you're thirsty, you may drink."

They were the first words she had heard since Scrubb had spoken to her on the edge of the cliff. For a second she stared here and there, wondering who had spoken. Then the voice said again, "If you are thirsty, come and drink," and of course she remembered what Scrubb had said about animals talking in that other world, and realized that it was the lion speaking. Anyway, she had seen its lips move this time, and the voice was not like a man's. It was deeper, wilder, and stronger; a sort of heavy, golden voice. It did not make her any less frightened than she had been before, but it made her frightened in rather a different way.

"Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion.

"I'm dying of thirst," said Jill.

"Then drink," said the Lion.

"May I - could I - would you mind going away while I do?" said Jill.

The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.

The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

"Will you promise not to - do anything to me, if I do come?" said Jill.

"I make no promise," said the Lion.

Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.

"Do you eat girls?" she said.

"I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms," said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.

"I daren't come and drink," said Jill.

"Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.

"Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer. "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then."

"There is no other stream," said the Lion.

It never occurred to Jill to disbelieve the Lion - no one who had seen his stern face could do that - and her mind suddenly made itself up. It was the worst thing she had ever had to do, but she went forward to the stream, knelt down, and began scooping up water in her hand. It was the coldest, most refreshing water she had ever tasted. You didn't need to drink much of it, for it quenched your thirst at once. Before she tasted it she had been intending to make a dash away from the Lion the moment she had finished. Now, she realized that this would be on the whole the most dangerous thing of all. She got up and stood there with her lips still wet from drinking.

"Come here," said the Lion. And she had to. She was almost between its front paws now, looking straight into its face. But she couldn't stand that for long; she dropped her eyes.


“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price."    Isaiah 55:1

"But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”   John 4:14

Sunday, April 10, 2011

It's All Uncharted

As I have said before, I am not a writer. In fact, I am quite terrible with words and can never arrange them properly to communicate what's going on in my heart and my head. I think this is why I appreciate music so much. It often says exactly what I am thinking or feeling in a way I could never communicate on my own.

This song came on the other day and has resonated with me ever since. I'm pretty sure the artists' intentions for this song and my interpretation completely differ; nevertheless, it seems to put into words where I am at in the journey.



Uncharted

No words
My tears won't make any room for more
And it don't hurt
Like anything I've ever felt before, this is
No broken heart
No familiar scars
This territory goes uncharted

Just me
In a room sunk down in a house in a town, and I
Don't breathe
No I never meant to let it get away from me, now
Too much to hold, everybody has to
Get their hands on gold
And I want uncharted

Stuck under this ceiling I made
I can't help but feeling

I'm going down
Follow if you want
I won't just hang around
Like you'll show me where to go

I'm already out
Of foolproof ideas
So don't ask me how
To get started
It's all uncharted

Each day
Counting up the minutes, till I get alone
Cause I can't stay
In the middle of it all, it's nobody's fault, but I'm
So alone, never knew how much I didn't know
Oh, everything is uncharted

I know I'm getting nowhere
When I only sit and stare like

I'm going down
Follow if you want
I won't just hang around
Like you'll show me where to go

I'm already out
Of foolproof ideas
So don't ask me how
To get started
It's all uncharted

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart
Love to watch the colors fade
They may not make sense
But they sure made me

I won't go as a passenger, no
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down
I'm taking flame over burning out

Compare
where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get
Nowhere


In my words, I am covering new territory. Discovering places in my heart I never knew existed. Coming to terms with my sin and depravity. Taking a look at the areas that bring me joy and sorrow. I'm finding out who I really am- the person God intended for me to be before the fall and before sins curse. I'm on the path of redemption. It's all so new and frightening and I often feel frustrated that my world has been turned upside down. But there is an element of excitement in it all because it is uncharted. I have no idea what's ahead but all I know is it's too late to turn back now.